Hallow

I am a collection of my favorite movie quotes,
the books I’ve read in years past,
the songs I sing terribly in the shower,
and the pictures I take when I see something that haunts me.

I would never describe myself as a good man
or even an attractive one, by any means.
I follow my heart, and if the actions I take paint me in such a way
then so be it.

In following my heart, I have made plenty of mistakes,
though some would argue they weren’t truly mistakes, just lessons.

I love too deeply
I smile too widely
I laugh too loudly
I hug too tightly
and I kiss too passionately.

I have been abandoned,
abused,
beaten,
cheated on,
lied to,
and left to die
far more times than I care to remember.

And in such trials, I have learned that unless it is mad,
passionate,
extraordinary love,
it’s waste of time.
There are far too many mediocre things in life.
Love should never be one of them.

I am as passionate as I am deep,
and even if I am misunderstood,
I have learned to be okay with that,
because, above all else, I can live
knowing that I was always true to myself.

We all carry pieces of those who have built us and broken us.
And sometimes we cling to the things that make us bleed
because we’d rather feel the pain in the familiar
than the peace in the unknown.

I don’t want love,
I simply want to be loved,
and that is entirely different.
And sadly, too often the day you are appreciated
respected,
missed,
and loved,
is the day when you are lost.

In the end, though I have suffered tremendously for it,
I will forever, like the raven, wear my heart on my wings,
for is it it even love at all,
if it isn’t worth fighting for?

I may have lost people that have never loved me,
which in its own sense is a gift,
but I truly pity those people,
because they have lost someone that deeply loved them,
who would have broken every bone in his body for them,
who would have spilt every last ounce of his blood for them,
who would have sold every remaining essence of his soul for them.
Were I not to be the greatest love of their life,
I am to be the greatest loss of their life, instead.

I am air.
I am the stillness among waves crashing against the shore.
I am the silence between the tick-tockings of a clock.
I am the void between heartbeats,
and the darkness found in the split-second
of a blink.

You will find me
when you stop looking.

~LT